I'll spare everyone the cultural history of Alan Moore's critically-acclaimed graphic novel, “Watchmen”; odds are that you've already (a) read the book yourself, (b) heard about it on one of our myriad “entertainment news” tv shows or (c) done your own research. All you need to know is that the complex literary work has, until now, been deemed “unfilmable” and scribe Alan Moore has vowed to disassociate himself from any attempt at bringing the text to the silver screen.
There are two fiercely loyal camps of fans when it comes to comic book-to-movie translations: the purists and those who embrace change. Zack Snyder's “Watchmen” tries to please both groups simultaneously and, in my opinion, achieves mixed results. Compared to a film like 2000's “X-Men,” which relaunched the spandex-wearing comic franchise into a modern “this is what it'd be like in real-life” romp, “Watchmen” takes few chances. Besides the reworked (and arguably better) ending, Snyder's film makes no qualms about accurately recreating panel-perfect comic book frames on the big screen. As a fan, this is a nice gesture. But from a newcomer's perspective, I can see how this can be disconcerting. Certain scenes meant to invoke a “that's familiar” feeling in the minds of old fans tend to linger beyond the “that's neat” moment. The dialogue lifted straight off of the book's panels often sounds forced. Perhaps the actors were directed to spit their lines out as if their words were, indeed, floating above their heads in round, white balloons.
This tilted dialogue does little to enhance the relationships between the main characters. I didn't feel any comradery between Nite Owl II and Rorschach, former crime-fighting duo; nor did I particularly care for the needlessly-long sex scene, but hey, Malin Akerman is ridiculously good-looking and boobs sell tickets. Right?
Another gripe before I get to the good stuff: the overblown musical interludes seemed uninspired and did a good job of pulling me out of the action. Yes, yes, I realize that the original text used quotes from songs that defined the times, but I don't need to hear the whole thing just because you bought the rights to it. Exception: the introduction into the parallel 1985 universe cut together to Bob Dylan's "The Times They Are a-Changin' " was exceptional. I did not, however, need to hear Jimi Hendrix to remind me that America was a wacky place during Vietnam, with or without superheroes busting heads all over town.
So, complaints aside, let's move on to the things that I did enjoy about “Watchmen.” First and foremost, Rorschach was spot-on. Jackie Earle Haley does a great job of growling through the iconic vigilante's nebulous “face” and keeps fear alive on the streets. Snyder's choice to cast relative unknowns in his main roles helps ease a newcomer into this universe without having to picture somebody like Nicholas Cage killing a man with a bucket of hot fry grease. With that being said, Jeffrey Dean Morgan's Comedian looks way too much like Robert Downey Jr. I can easily see Joe Q. Public failing to make the distinction. The aforementioned Malin Akerman is one sexy Silk Spectre and Billy Crudup's Dr. Manhattan drew a round of giggles whenever his digital blue-bits were front and center.
Violence is integral to the story and Snyder's indulgent, red light-green light action sequences work just as well here as they did in his previous film, the testosterone-oozing “300”. Some of the ultraviolence seemed a little hokey (the prison dismemberment definitely would have played better just off-screen, as we looked at a blood-spattered Rorschach) but touches like that tend to draw in the “Dude, you've gotta go see this crazy thing!” crowd that the studio is counting on. When Rorschach exclaimed that all of the prisoners were locked in with him, rather than vice-versa, a large Mexican fellow down the aisle from me pointed at the screen and shouted, “THAT DUDE CRAZY!” Well played, Snyder. Well played.
The film's ending is radically different from the text's, and for good reason. No spoilers, but just know it's been considered a pleasant surprise by original fans and less-confusing to “Watchmen” newbies, which is a good thing. All in all, I was satisfied when I left the theater and would recommend the flick to anybody with the slightest bit of interest in taking a trip into Bizzaro 1985. Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
